6:59 p.m. - 2008-01-04
Decapitating Santa
I�m seriously considering approaching the Pope and asking to be considered for canonization because living with Twinkles requires the patience of a Saint. He�s been moaning about festive weight gain as he does every year and rabidly complaining that I don�t do enough to stop him overindulging, what kind of Top, etc, etc, then yesterday he went and bought a bag full of Christmas goodies from Sainsbury�s because they were selling them off at prices you just couldn�t ignore. I told him that they could very easily be ignored; all it took was a little willpower. I wouldn�t mind so much but he goes totally overboard, fair enough one or two items, we all like a bargain, but he bought no less than eight Lindt chocolate reindeer and eight Lindt Santa�s because they were reduced by almost 75%, they were practically giving them away (where have I heard that before) and that was in addition to a host of other stuff. He�d have bought more if it wasn�t for greedy buggers grabbing things off the shelves before he could get to them. His main excuse for the sweet buying spree was that they�d make good little pressies for our guests this Saturday night. Seeing as we seem to have spent this Christmas mainly as guests of other people Twinks thought it would be a nice idea to return hospitality and have a Twelfth Night party to celebrate the end of the festivities and I thought why not. I caught him slyly decapitating one of the would be presents, a chocolate Santa, last night and promptly confiscated the remaining torso telling him that he was very naughty, very greedy and, as he�d quite rightly pointed out it was my duty as his Top to stop him continuing to overindulge on unhealthy rubbish. He wasn�t too chuffed with me, especially when I binned the rest of the one he�d started on and hid all the other stuff. From being accused of allowing him to overindulge I was accused of being mean and always denying him. I just can�t win some days.
Us hosting a party tomorrow night has given Frank a perfect excuse to avoid beginning to take down his external Christmas decorations, he told Katie that we�d requested he leave them up to add festive ambience to the do at our house. He loves putting them up, but taking them down is another kettle of fish. Katie is muttering darkly about searching the sales for a cattle prod to use on him as a means of incentive. Most of the outside decorations in the Close have now disappeared, which is a profound relief where some are concerned. I�m thinking especially of the giant Smurf, which I just cannot warm to at all, it�s a hideous apparition that has no festive connotations whatsoever, not to me anyway. We�ll take down our Christmas trimmings on Sunday, after the party. I must say that I�m looking forward to getting completely back to normal and regaining space.
We had a fall of snow yesterday, the heaviest one we�ve had in a few years in this part of the country, it looked very pretty, though it was hell to drive in. It was all gone this morning, however it�s still cold and the forecasters are prophesying that there�s more to come, but then they forecast a hot summer and look how that turned out.
It was a fairly slow day at work today so I flexed off early and came home and spent some time transferring information and dates from last years calendar and diaries to this years. I have to do Twinks� diary as well, he hates doing it, he says it�s a chore and besides it�s depressing, it only makes you realise that another year of your life has irretrievably passed into history, sadly that�s very true and I don�t like doing the job either, but someone has to update the diaries and things or we�d be in a fine mess with regard to remembering birthdays and appointments.
I�m going to go and gargle with some soluble aspirin, I�ve caught Twinks� cold and my throat is a bit sore, I find the aspirin helpful. My cold isn�t as bad as Twinks has been and I�m grateful for that at least, his poor nose is all sore and chapped with having to continuously wipe it all the time.
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