1:08 p.m. - 2009-03-15
Disco Green Sugar
I�ve been lax about journaling lately. That long hiatus last year broke my momentum and sadly I�ve never really picked it up again. I think partly it�s because life just seems to have been so damn tiring for the last year or so and I haven�t had as much energy or enthusiasm for expressing myself via the written word. Still, it�s a beautiful spring day today and Twinkles and I have had a leisurely lie in and a very nice cuddle with tongues and other things. We followed that up with a nice breakfast so I�m relaxed and happy. Him in frocks is busy cleaning the lounge while simultaneously watching a DVD of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. He�s prepping up for going to see the new stage version of the film in London next month. He�s really looking forward to seeing Jason Donovan in the lead role.
February was a busy month and not at all a nice one. My father suffered a mild heart attack on February 10th. He�s fine now, but it was very upsetting and very worrying bringing home as it did, that he isn�t getting any younger. A couple of days later, while we were still getting over that shock, Twinkles got beaten up while he was out with our godson.
Paul and Karen were away having a romantic Valentines weekend in Amsterdam and we were caring for Dominic. I had a migraine on the Sunday afternoon so Twinks took Dom out for a walk to the park while I had a lie down in a dark room.
Our biggest local park is an early Victorian creation and over the last few years the Council have spent a fortune trying to return it to its former Victorian glory and in part they�ve succeeded. The small artificial lake is beautiful, the bandstand has been restored and the flowerbeds are stunning. However, where they�ve failed is in preventing heroin dealers and addicts utilising it as a place to trade and use. The grounds are frequently littered with dirty syringes; even the children�s play area. It�s a disgrace that the local press highlight on a regular basis, but the police just don�t seem able to combat the problem.
Anyway, Twinkles took Dom to the lake to feed our namesake swans and the ducks. It was a cold day and there weren�t too many people around. A youth, wearing the ubiquitous black hoodie, approached Twinkles and demanded money. Twinks hoisted Dominic into his arms and made to walk away, but the youth snatched up a syringe from the ground and threatened to stab Dom with it. Twinkles immediately put Dom down and handed over what cash he had on him. It wasn�t enough to satisfy the youth and he spitefully jabbed the syringe in Dom�s direction. Twinkles deftly executed a dancer�s kick that knocked it out of the yob�s hand and into the lake. He paid for his quick thinking though. He was viciously punched in the face. The force of the blow knocked him off his feet and he was then booted in the face and stomach as he lay on the ground. Dom�s terrified screams alerted a man who was fishing on the other side of the lake to what was happening and he started shouting that he was calling the police and the youth ran off. The police duly came and I was called. Twinkles needed hospital treatment for cuts and bruises and he lost one of his bottom teeth, which he�s since had bridged.
Dominic was utterly distraught. He wanted mummy and daddy and I really thought at one point that I�d have to ask them to come home early, but he eventually calmed down and allowed us to comfort him. We rang his parents on Sunday night so that he could talk to them and tell them all about the nasty man that had frightened him and hurt his beloved uncle �Tinks.� I think small children need to be encouraged to talk about bad things in order to un-demonise them to some extent. He really was very, very shaken by the incident and had nightmares for a few days afterwards. Twinkles was also very shaken and he also had terrible nightmares involving Dom being stabbed with a dirty needle and infected with hepatitis and HIV. I saw a shadow of the depression that he suffered last summer returning and I was terrified. I entertained vigilante fantasies of hunting down the thug responsible and snapping his neck. Such thoughts are a normal expression of frustration and anger, but really they�re quite useless and serve no good in the end.
Shelving all murderous ambitions I took advantage of my position at work and pencilled in some leave. I gently pressured Don into pencilling the same for Twinkles and then booked a luxury villa in Italy and took my boy away for ten days to recuperate in beautiful surroundings. It was heaven; sheer bliss and it did us both a power of good to be alone together away from all distractions, even the distractions we usually love like family and friends. It meant that I could focus all my time and attention on him and that�s something he really needs. The structure of our relationship demands that from time to time we consciously reaffirm our roles in order to preserve the structure and to strengthen it. I pandered to him, I petted him and spoiled him, but I also made sure he knew who was in charge. He was disciplined several times for seemingly trivial misdemeanours, such as answering me back and for trying to argue against decisions that I made. The spankings I gave him were less about punishing the misdemeanour and more about confirming the dynamic between us. No doubt outsiders would consider me unduly harsh and domineering, but that�s too bad. Italy is a beautiful country and the holiday revitalised us both on many levels.
We�d only been home from our holiday a couple of days when we got a call from the police. There�d been several attacks in the park and they�d finally arrested someone. They wanted Twinkles to attend an identity parade to see if he could pick him out. It was nerve wracking because it all happened so fast and he didn�t get that clear a look at the lad�s face with his hood being up. He spent days afterwards worrying that he�d pointed the finger at the wrong person, but seeing as two other victims pointed their finger in the same direction I don�t think he has too much to worry about.
Brian is coming over for lunch today so I�d better be making tracks. I need to shave and shower though actually I quite fancy growing a beard, just for a change. I think I�d look quite sexy with a beard. I really should make a move, otherwise Twinks will make a start on lunch and everything will end up being dusted with glitter. He�s got a thing about edible food glitter at the moment. When it was Dom�s birthday in January he volunteered to make his birthday cake. While surfing the web for ideas he discovered this site that specialised in cake decorations including edible glitter that came in an array of dazzling colours. Twinks was enchanted and he bought pots of the stuff. He�s hooked on it and never loses an opportunity to use it. My bran flakes shimmer, my eggs coruscate and the sugar in the sugar bowl is an ever changing wonder as he mixes it with different colour glitter. It was an eye-catching disco green this morning. He�s been murmuring about tarting up my Yorkshire puds with some magenta glitter he�s particularly fond off. I�ve warned him that Yorkshire puddings are plain everyday fare they do not do glamour and glitz and I shall slap his rump and confiscate his entire glitter collection if he tries to slip lurid sparkle into my batter.
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