7:27 p.m. - 2008-11-03
Transistors.
If I didn�t know otherwise I�d swear that Twinks and Jason were transvestite sisters (or transistors) who were separated at birth. Both have an aversion to mornings. Twinks was a sod to get out of bed today, he�s bad enough in the summer months, but come the winter he�s even worse. It didn�t help that I�m on a week�s holiday as of today. He really resents the fact that I get more holidays than he does, it�s just not frigging fair. Anyway, I�d no sooner hounded him out of bed than the phone rang. I knew instinctively who it would be. It was Sandra to say that Jason was refusing to get up for school. Today is the first day back after last week�s half term break. He�s a reluctant student at the best of times and even more so after a break. She wanted me to have a word with him. She took her mobile up to his bedroom and stuck it under his duvet in the general vicinity of one of his ears, whereupon I crisply told him that he had ten minutes to get his backside out of bed and start getting ready for school or I was coming round to sort him out. The response was a predictable �OH YOU!� But it did the trick. Sandra called back later to say she�d dropped him safely at school and seeing as I�d dropped Twinks safely at work and it was her day off we arranged to meet for a coffee in the Collectables coffee lounge. Val is away at the moment; she�s visiting her sister in Devon for a few days. Sandra doesn�t see eye to eye to with the sister in question and by mutual agreement contact is kept to a bare minimum. Val goes off once or twice a year to visit said sister on her own.
I enjoyed the coffee and chat and even let Sandra drag me around the shop itself looking at ornaments, jewellery and handbags and such like. Collectables is one of Twinkle�s favourite shops as it has lots of glittery girly things for sale including, so I discovered today, diamante bra straps! Yes, they actually sell straps to replace the regular dull ones that come with most bras. It was Sandra that actually discovered a rack of them and she got very excited. Her Barclaycard saw some action as she snapped up a variety of pairs for herself and some girlfriends as Christmas gifts. If a girl is going to flash a bra strap she might as well flash a flash one. She considered and then dismissed the idea of buying Val a set. Val just isn�t a glitterbrati sort of girl. She only wears a bra at all because if she didn�t her tits would trip her up (Sandra�s words) and she opted for sports bras that nothing on earth could make glamorous. The straps were quite expensive, but what the hell. The lure proved irresistible when I spotted a pair fashioned from pink crystal stars and then another pair with multicoloured diamante butterflies. I had to buy them for Twinkles. I knew he�d just adore them. I then bought a pair for Lulu and a pair each for mum and Prissy. I�ll put them away as stocking fillers for Christmas. I think the sales lady must have been on commission because she was all but purring by the time Sandra and I had completed our purchases. We just about cleared the rack.
I suppose I ought to do some kind of resume of the past five months. It�s just hard to know where to start.
Lulu is still Lulu, an absolute sweetheart, but still unlucky in love. He had a brief relationship with Petra, a preoperative transsexual, but it was doomed to failure from the start. Petra identifies as a straight woman, only not many straight men accept her as such. It doesn�t help that she�s not particularly feminine looking even when dressed up. I think it was a friendship that edged into sexual territory out of sheer frustration and loneliness. It just didn�t work on a physical or emotional level, it couldn�t. Lulu is gay, he likes men and he was attracted to the very aspect of Petra that she wanted to obliterate. It predictably ended in tears and unhappiness for both parties and even friendship was lost as a result.
Teddy�s confectionary venture �The Sweet Fairy� failed. It did relatively well for a while, but once Christmas was over and the general novelty wore off so did business. Expensive sweets aren�t much in demand immediately after Christmas. Not even Easter could save the business from going under. Maurice helped him pick up the pieces and they�re back together. I think they really do love each other, it�s just they have a dysfunctional way of going on. Though when you think about it I suppose most of us are dysfunctional to one degree or another. Anyway, we were all glad to see them back together, even if it isn�t always in happy harmony.
Brian and Martin have split up. It was Martin�s choice. He decided that he couldn�t cope with Steven�s ghost and ended the relationship. I was sad. I liked Martin and I felt he was right for Brian, but then it isn�t my life and what I think is irrelevant. I suppose Brian just isn�t ready to commit to anyone else, perhaps he never will be. He loved Steven so very much. Some people never come to terms with loss and never really move on from it.
My sister Maryann wasn�t exactly thrilled to bits with the prospect of motherhood at first, I�m not sure that she is now. It wasn�t meant to happen, it was one drink too many and a careless approach to contraception. Her boyfriend Callum, or rather ex-boyfriend, is the father. They split up before she realised she was pregnant and she decided he had no right to know. If I say �two timing fucking scum bag� you�ll probably guess the reason why they split and why she doesn�t want him to know. I�m not sure I agree, but I daren�t say that to her face, not with her hormones raging all over the place, she�ll only hit me. When she first found out she was pregnant she considered having an abortion, but in the end couldn�t go through with it. Twinkles very emotionally told her that he�d never forgive her if she killed her baby, and whether that swayed her I don�t know. I think Gill�s predicament might also have played a part in her decision. Gill so wants another child after losing Thomas, but so far has been unable to conceive again. Maryann�s baby is due towards the end of March/early April. My mum is absolutely over the moon at the prospect of being a grandmother. Dad�s also pleased, but a bit worried about Maryann not having a partner to support her financially.
Our hate mailer is still on scene and we still get spite filled epistles from time to time. We also got some sort of chemical poured all over our front lawn that killed off the grass in the summer, and we had to have it re-turfed. That was pretty annoying.
Jason in a rather convoluted nutshell:
He was Natalie�s baby faced boyfriend for a brief period last summer. It turned out that he was baby faced for a very good reason. He was a baby. At the time he was seeing Natalie he was just 14 as opposed to the 21 he�d conned Natalie into believing he was. I�d guessed he was younger than he�d claimed to be, but not that much younger. Poor Natalie was gobsmacked, embarrassed and horrified when he discovered he�d been nibbling jailbait, fortunately he had only nibbled and not partaken of a full course. It was Big Mary who discovered the truth. I�ve said before that BM does voluntary work as a counsellor helping young people come to terms with their sexuality and he was doing a talk at a secondary school on the subject of tolerance towards GLBT teenagers as part of an anti-bullying campaign. He saw and recognised Jason and made sure that Nat knew he was dating a schoolboy.
I went away for two weeks earlier this year, a training course in London to bring me up to spec after my promotion. That was when Jason came fully on scene again. He was a handful of trouble. His parents are divorced; both have other partners and young children to those partners. They didn�t really have time for him and his difficulties, and he has a lot of difficulties. They put him out and closed their doors �for the sake of their younger children.� Jason was a mess, very unhappy, very angry. He sought out Natalie. I think it�s fair to say that everyone got sucked into this young man�s drama and tried to help. Twinkles tried to help more than most. He really felt an affinity for Jason and the way he�d been rejected. He gave him shelter. He likes him, he really does, and he wanted so much to help and mentor him in a way that he would have like to be mentored at that age. Alas it didn�t work out. They clashed and ended up as competitors. I came home from London one Friday night to find the pair of them fighting like hellcats because Jason had borrowed one of Twinkle�s best blouses without asking and had spilled Vimto on it and ruined it. Twinks lost his temper and a hissing spitting fight ensued. He just couldn�t handle Jason. It distressed him beyond measure. His intentions were the best and Jason knew that and he didn�t mean to be mean and take advantage of the kindness shown him, but he did, because he�s young and he�s selfish. Jason admires Twinks and wants to emulate him. Twinks is flattered, but he also feels threatened. He�s not ready to pass on his crown. He also feels very discounted when Jason disregards his advice.
I tried talking to Jason�s parents, but they were adamant they didn�t want him in their homes and proceeded to regale me with tales of his misdeeds and abuses, his mood swings and temper tantrums, the shocking things he said and did, like cutting the handles on his mum�s favourite handbag and slashing her dresses. There was no middle ground, not for Jason to stand on anyway. He was just too difficult as far as they were concerned. His father�s partner in particular disliked him and wanted nothing to do with him. She described him as �a disgusting creature, a freak.� Twinkles asked her if she�d looked in any mirrors herself lately, as she had a face like an arsehole in process of passing a motion. It was very rude and I had words with him later, but I must admit that secretly I thought she deserved to be insulted. Social Services were mentioned, and so was suicide as Jason broke down completely and said he�d kill himself before going in a home. It was immensely stressful for us all. There was no way that we could walk away from him. He was one of us, our kind, and he needed us. A boy like Jason would gain absolutely nothing from being placed in local authority care. It would be detrimental to him in every respect. That was when Val and Sandra got involved. It was a good move. They�re good for him, there�s no competition there. He�s the undisputed baby of the house, the main focus of attention. There was the unfortunate blip when Val fell ill, but everything�s fine now. Their home is his principle domicile, but the three of us act in loco parentis, something his parents were more than happy to consent to.
Big Mary has been a great help offering counsel and helping find someone more expert when it became clear that Jason had more difficulties with self-identity than we imagined. Some days he thinks he�s transsexual and he wants a sex change, other days he�s a regular gay teenager who just likes to dress up in female attire and then again he might be bisexual because there�s a girl in his class who he really likes and he�s not sure whether he likes her as a friend or whether he fancies her. It�s confusing enough being a teenager without all that to deal with, the poor lamb.
Right, I�d better make a move. Twinks and I are going out this evening, we�re going to see the new Bond film and then go for a Chinese. I�m looking forward to it. I�ll have to try and make sure I don�t show too much appreciation for the dishy Daniel Craig or I�ll get my wrists slapped if not my hair pulled. Twinks does not take kindly to me ogling other men even if they�re just actors undertaking a role. He really gets jealous. Of course, being a man of double standards, it�s okay for him to ogle, that�s acceptable, but not me. I have to show restraint.
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